“What’s It Like In Your Head? Is It Dark In There?” -Dorothy to Oz.

Are you a nice person? People like you. Tell you that you’re nice. Well, then darn it…you MUST be a nice person.

You work hard. Help everybody at work. At school. Help your family. Friends. You’re just a good guy.

You do the unsavory chores around the house. Pick up the doggie bombs. Mow the grass. Clean the fridge. Pay the bills and bring home the paycheck. Clean the commodes. Change the diapers.

Paint the front door. Help your neighbors.

You’re smart, too. And certainly not a risk taker, right? Right.

You do the work of TWO people, you’re told. And it is so.

You are honest about your daily schedule; the company you keep; the finances.

So, tell me this: what’s your SO (Significant Other) doing? Right right. That guy (or that girl) you’re dating or married to or engage to or thinking about building a long term relationship with…..what is SO doing?

…or do you know?

Here’s your checklist on  Nessa’s Pocket Guide To The Narcissist (aka: Perpetrator, Psychopath, Basic Horse’s Rear End, Clown, Jerk, Wizard of Oz, Liar,….you get the idea):

  • Absence of shame and/or guilt. The Narcissist is not at all ashamed of his/her actions and is adept at justifying his/her constant criticism and vilification. They’re shifty!

  • Lack of empathy. The Wizard shows no appreciation for the damage he or she is causing the you, the company staff, the House of Representatives, your mom, the children. Empathy Schmempathy.

  • Impulsivity. Psychos (oh, sorry…psychopaths) live for the moment, showing little concern for the future consequences of their actions. They worship the perverse pleasure they get from being vengeful, scheming and launching revenge strategies. These are vengeance scripts occupying their thought processes.

  • Inability to form stable relationships. Narcissists can act charming and affectionate at times, and will often proclaim great love for their children. However comma they are not capable of stable relationships, as seen from the fact that they do not care that they are permanently destroying their children’s health.

  • Deceit. Psychopaths, narcissists are flagrant liars. They’ll profess complete honesty yet perjure themselves on the witness stand with aplomb. Their goals are always to control. To have money. To take things. To plunge you in the heart with vengeance.

  • Manipulative. They manipulate others with humor, guilt, ambient abuse. They gaslight. They appear wise and articulate. They are not. They seem sophisticated. They are not. They are the smartest guy in the room. But they are not. If you think carefully, you realized that they SAY they are the smartest, funniest, kindest, most generous sort….but take note: THEY….the narcissist(s)…..they are the only ones saying they are the smartest, funniest, kindest, etc. No one else is saying so.

  • More on Manipulation. They are very skillful at exploiting others and can manipulate law enforcement, healthcare professionals, juries and judges, convincing them that they are completely honest. They are not.

  • Irresponsibility. They are entirely unreliable; saying whatever they think will be effective at the moment and attacking anyone who catches them in a lie. And I mean  a t t a c k.

  • Disloyalty. Typically, psychopaths/narcissists have no sense of loyalty to anyone. A loyal person would not brainwash his children and ruin their lives by denigrating the other parent maliciously, viciously.

  • Takers. Psychopaths are takers. They will give lavish gifts if in so doing the action, the gift guarantees successful manipulation. However, one wrong move and that lavish gift will disappear, be repossessed by Psycho as punishment. The narcissist will profess love, friendship, commitment of any kind and then gush about how wonderful you are….provided you join their campaign of vilification…which you will not.

Lack of fear. Psychopaths, narcissists believe:

  1. that they are above the law

  2. show no fear of punishment nor being caught in a lie

  3. and IF they are caught in a lie (which will always happen), they NEVER admit to being party to the lie, crafting the lie but will play victim and parlay blame on you. Always.

  • They ALWAYS say “The End Justifies The Means.” Whatever it takes to win, that will always be what Narcissist, Psychopath, Crazy will do:  To destroy a person who appears to be better or IS better….that is the goal which they pursue: to isolate and stymie; to control; to make irrelevant; to craft untruths about the target; to win at any cost. No. Matter. What. And at any price.

  • Blamers. In my research, I’ve come to think that there is no such thing as blame. It is a thesis under development. But, know this: the psychopath is a blamer and perennial victim. There should be t-shirts, coffee mugs and bumper stickers sporting same. For sale. On their planet. Uranus. Its open.

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